tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I believe in your delicious
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
