He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
