that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
