when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
