Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
