Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
