NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
50% drunk capacity currently
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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