Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize