Only a mothe r could love this liver
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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