what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
