You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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