Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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