Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
