i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize