mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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