Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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