i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
