it's like iHOP with fire
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
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But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
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Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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