: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
