Small penises have feelings too.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
