Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize