porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize