dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
