Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
