oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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