I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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