I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I checked into jail on foursquare
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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