You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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