It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
