so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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