Farmville is her only friend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
