the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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