i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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