i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
