Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
