oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
