pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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