So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
