Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
