Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
