Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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