That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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