Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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