Grow some girl-balls and come out already
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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