we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
