drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Your penis caused this!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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