lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
