I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
