first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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