I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
