It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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