They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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