roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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