just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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