I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
