So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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