Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
