I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
