Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
