if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
