All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
